My horoscope last friday (Nov. 6) said that I will find the missing piece of the puzzle I’ve been looking for and all my questions will be answered. And yes, it did happened.

I really had a great night out with office friends in a famous night club at the fort named Encore ( formerly known as Embassy). We drunk at Pier One, and hell yeah, because of that ” Yes and No” game Lester(office friend) initiated, I took a lot of vodka shots that made me so drunk that I can’t even get down the stairs of the bar LOL. A lot of pretty peeps at Encore and we also saw some famous celebrities there…but unfortunately there are more hot girls than guys there hehehe.

I was sad and happy that time, that day…I was sad because the guy I like ( the one I’m with in the recent Guimaras trip I had) already got himself a GF. Yes, you read it right..I don’t know if he reconciled with his ex or it’s a new girl well..the hell I care! next, I’m happy because I found out that my office crush also has a crush on me! LOL, he told it in our post gimik starbucks session at Bonifacio High street hehehe… we played spin the bottle/truth or dare and there a friend of mine, Florence asked him “who’s your crush in the office?” at first he’s hesitant to tell it but Nheo told him he’s a LOSER hahaha so he told it anyway …actually I already had a feeling he also has a crush on me before because he looks at me differently whenever we see each other at the pantry in the office but the sad part about it? he’s only 21 years old and has a GF too…OH WELL!!

In the end I had fun and finally found the missing piece of the puzzle I’m trying to solve for weeks now…I can continue my journey with a happy heart, big smile..no What ifs, but and maybe

My prince charming is out there somewhere..O know God will bring him to me at the right place and at the right time

Okay…so I’ve been in the three month rule( no progress)…so what’s next after??

I think I need a major life overhaul; emotionally, mentally and physically.

I posted some of my precious past pictures taken 2-3 years ago in my face book account..and OH MY I got a lot of comments. My eyes that time sparkles and full of life, and take note I was blooming back then..ok it’s WAS. got it??? so I need to get back the old me..the fresh looking, jolly me. How will I suppose to do that??? my friend told me to get rid the stress I’ve been dealing with lately and just be happy…well…it’s hard to be happy…I guess it comes out naturally in the right place and time…

I think, I still need a lot of time to fix myself..I promise this we’ll soon be over..I’ll be back on track.

LaDonnaForte 101.let’s start!!!

Have you heard of the three month rule? They say a person who had been on a break up will recover after three months. Many people tell me about this, they said it’s really true…at first I don’t want to believe but well I guess that’s what I’m trying to surpass right now. If you’ve read my past blogs, my bf for 2 years and I broke up last June. Then September came; I had this trip with my officemates and who knew it’ll change my life right now.

The trip was fun and really a very adventurous one. We’ve been through a lot of hell and breath taking experiences there (because of that typhoon Ondoy), but I didn’t mind because unconsciously, along our journey I am busy knowing a very unique person. He’s known to be an introvert (he admitted it, doesn’t really like going to parties and loves to be alone), a nerdy, grumpy (usually), gym buff guy in the office; but no one knows he’s other side. During our 5 days stay in Iloilo and Guimaras I can say, I already knew so much about him, though that time he still considers me as an officemate LOL. He’s sweet, sensitive, gentleman and a nature lover, he’s very loyal based on his stories and still loves his ex though they broke up I guess three years ago, waiting for her to come back (lucky girl). When it’s time to go back to Manila, I told myself “it’s only a dream. A dream that helped you recover from your break up, when you’re in Manila; it’ll be back to normal. What happened in Iloilo and Guimaras will stay in Iloilo and Guimaras.”

I swallowed everything I said.

We became even close when we came back… everybody in the office thinks we’re in a relationship. Even though I wish we are… I know he can’t like me because he’s still not over with his ex gf, well me? I’m not sure if I’m over with my ex now, but all I know is I can last for months without hearing anything from him now. But how about the big eyed puppy stuff toy he gave me, the snack and lunch treats, the care he shows me…how the hell I’ll tell myself that I have no feelings for him and he has no feelings for me too??? Maybe he’s just nice to me…( convincing mode)

Life sucks. Sometimes I wish I never joined that trip but whenever I look at myself in the mirror right now; I am better compared three months ago, smiling and confident again.

The only thing I know that could save me from being broken hearted again is not to take everything seriously. I should treat him only as a friend and nothing more. If something happens between us more than I expected well that’s the time I’ll think about it, but for now… I’ll just enjoy our friendship.

The three month rule rocks!

Artist:	Face Down The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Album:	Don’t You Fake It
Year:	2006
:
	Hey girl you know you drive me crazy. One look put\’s the rhythm in my hand. Still I\’ll never understand why you hang around I see what\’s going down. Cover-up with make-up in the mirror Tell yourself it\’s never gonna happen again You cry alone and then he swears he loves you. Chorus: Do you feel like a man When you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well I\’ll tell you my friend one day this world\’s going to end As your lies crumble down a new life she has found. A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect Every action in this world will bear a consequence If you wade around forever you will surely drown I see what\’s going down. I see the way you go and say you\’re right again, say you\’re right again, heed my lecture Chorus: Do you feel like a man When you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well I\’ll tell you my friend one day this worlds going to end As your lies crumble down a new life she has found. One day she will tell you that she has had enough its coming round again. Chorus: Do you feel like a man When you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well I\’ll tell you my friend one day this worlds going to end As your lies crumble down a new life she has found. [x2]

I just came back from a very long vacation and I really had fun. We were at Iloilo and Guimaras from September 24-28 2009. When we were there typhoon Ondoy struck Manila and many died, Thank God my family and friends were safe.Though it’s rainy and the waves were high, we still managed to have fun.

I’m with my office friends and we really had a lot of bloopers and near death experiences there LOL. Good thing we’re still alive . The trip helped me to realize some things, face again a new chapter in my life and to let go

Below are some of the places we visited in Iloilo and Guimaras, Enjoy! =D

Agho Island, Concepcion iloilo

Going to Pan De Azukar, Island

Sunset @ Raymen Beach Resort, Guimaras

Guisi Tower

Above Guisi Tower

Ampangan cliff @ Pan De Azukar Island- Concepcion, iloilo

Bulubadiangan island, Sand Bar Resort

Bulubadiangan island, Sand Bar Resort- Concepcion, iloilo

This blog is about yesterday (09/15/09).

I was the last one to leave the office yesterday. The silence in the office was killing me and I’m bored of browsing the internet, so I stood up and looked outside our office window. I looked carefully on every building, hoping that I could see something unusual (sneaky one) unfortunately I guess everyone went home. Bored of doing nothing…tired of being alone…guess what? I did something stupid again.

I called him (stupid stupid stupid me!).

Yes, I called him. If my friends are reading this I know they’ll kick my head off. Every time I tell myself not to touch my phone and call him, the more I get eager to call him. Every time I feel that I need to call him because I think he might need me, guess what? He really needs me but he doesn’t want me to help. I dialed his phone number, and now it’s ringing, I’m already thinking that he probably would not answer the phone, but by the time I wanted to end the call he answered it.

I miss his voice. It’s still the same sweet voice he used when he’s calling me before. He answered my call cheerfully, and I was relieved. Hearing his voice again made my day complete. I asked him the usual “How are you?” and he’s answer? “Still the same old me, still struggling to survive.” You know guys, we didn’t broke up because someone cheated…we broke up because he has a lot of problems and he can’t be in a relationship right now. He can’t balance his life, his responsibilities at work and to his family were huge. At first I tried to understand everything that was happening in his life, until I realized that I’m also hurting him and I became one of his burdens , because he can’t give even the time I ask him to be with me. We lasted for 2 years and 3 days, 3 days after our 2^nd anniversary we called it off.

As our phone conversation continued, I know for a fact that he’s not okay. He’s stressed and all I can think of doing is to go there in his workplace and give him a hug, but I can’t do that anymore. I’m a hard headed girl so I asked him if I could go to his office and wait there until it’s his time out. I told him that we’re still friends, so I guess there’s nothing wrong if friends visit their friends in their office sometimes. At first he said I should go home because he doesn’t want me to go home late but later he finally said yes, and I told him I’ll be there in an hour.

30 minutes before my time out, I fixed my things and myself. I did the basic rituals girls do before going to a date (thinking I’m going to a date) then suddenly I received a text message from an unknown number and it’s him (he borrowed someone else’s phone because he doesn’t have a load), he said his team will have a meeting after their shift and because of it he’ll go home late so we should meet next time. I just replied “Ah.Ok.Takecare.”

I went home again lonely, Many things popped into my mind again. I don’t know if I should still believe in every word that he said.

While riding an FX on my way home (one of our local taxis here) I listened to my favorite radio station. A DJ in this radio station has this segment every night he called True Love Confessions. You can call or text him all your love problems and he could give you an advice for it. The DJ was a good adviser but I never attempted to text or call his station. A listener texted her love problem; it’s about his break up with his ex bf, all this time she thought they broke up because he’s going to marry somebody else, but 4 months later she finally knew what really happened. The guy had brain cancer and died. The guy’s mother called her and told her he doesn’t want to tell her the real reason so she won’t be hurt. The girl is in mixed emotions, she’s angry for not telling the truth at the same time she’s sad because she’s not there with him in his fight for cancer.

The DJ advised her in the most sincere way he could and this is the first time I heard him advised that way because he’s cheerful when advising. He said, “Jillian, there’s no point in getting angry because he’s not here anymore. And you know what? I think he did the right thing; he really loves you because he doesn’t want you to get hurt. He doesn’t want you to remember him as your boyfriend who struggled and died of cancer. He wanted you to remember and keep all the happy moments you had when you’re still together. You can still love him, and keep him in your heart forever…but you should learn to let go and move on.”

The advice he gave to Jillian also struck me. Maybe the DJ was right, I could love him and keep him in the deepest part of my heart forever…

Maybe I could love him forever but we are not meant to be together… maybe…

This blog is about yesterday( Sept. 14) , coz I was too sleepy to write it down last night.

For lunch at work, my officemates and I decided to eat at Manila Peninsula Hotel. They have this anniversary promo (for only a day) where they brought back their 1930’s or 1970’s food prices for their halo-halo, shueblig with fries and pansit luglog. (Not sure about the date). Unfortunately when we got there the line was so long that its end is in the basement downstairs! So we decided to continue the lunch out at Glorietta and went back to our office with a tummy full of experience.

Later in the afternoon, my friend invited me and our other friends to go with her and have fun after work, though it’s a Monday night (well, yeah, we need to cross the line sometimes to forget). She told me she was sad because her Australian visa application was denied; her flight to Australia should be today, unfortunately she can’t go, good thing her ticket was purchased by her ex bf (because his ex bf is living in Australia). Yes, aside from the denied visa application, something happened between her and her ex bf and that’s why they broke up. They broke up because of some posted pictures in facebook, and her bf was tagged in one of the albums. Bad about it was in those albums there are pictures with her bf and a girl, which are a little bit cheesy (well, you know what I mean right?). She just told me all about it last night, she kept it because she doesn’t want to ruin the image of his ex bf to us…but of course no secrets can be hidden for long. There’s already a history between his ex bf and that girl…that I don’t want to include it here because I think it’s too complicated to write down. I’d rather keep that story between me and my friend.

Where will you go bar hopping on a Monday night? So we decided to watch a free European film instead at Shang-rila, but guess what? We went there late so we didn’t get any tickets. To continue our Monday fun night, we decided to play games instead in the power card center, good thing it’s still open (Time Zone and Power Card Center is different but they have the same games). We introduced the games we played last time at Time Zone to our dear friend. She enjoyed playing it and made her smile for a while. We enjoyed playing until it’s time to go because the center is closing. After the games, we went to a Krokodile Grille beside the mall to eat dinner. We had a sumptuous meal, their pork Sisig, Calamares and Sinigang na liempo were delicious! After eating they decided to order a green tea gin, sadly I can’t drink because I’m allergic to alcohol, you heard it right…ALLERGIC to alcohol, well it sucks.

It’s already 10:30 pm and I’m so sleepy, so I went home but they still continued their Monday gimik fun in a videoke bar near the mall. There are lessons I’ve learned /realized after what we did last night…

• As much as possible don’t get involved in a long distance relationship, unless you knew that person for a long time here before he/she went to another place for greener pasture…don’t give in too much. Some may be successful but, mostly 1 out of 3 becomes unsuccessful because of cheating.

• Sometimes it’s better to cross the line. Trying to do things out of your league may sometimes bring joy to you even for a while. • Be sensitive enough to know what your gf/bf would feel if he/she saw you with another girl in pictures, most especially if the pictures are somewhat intimate. It’s already understood right? If you don’t want to start a fight then be sensitive enough about others’ feelings.

• If you can live without facebook, then don’t create an account. I have nothing against facebook, actually I have an account there, but I’ve known several people who got into fights because of it. Facebook could start a fight probably because of the pictures posted there and tagging another person that may get involved in a bad situation, possibility of getting close with other people you don’t know that may ruin your relationship and If you’ve been reading news lately, some people commit suicide, get fired in their jobs, and get into trouble because of facebook. Responsible ownership of facebook account must be practiced, sounds lame huh? But that’s the truth! If people will flirt in cyberspace while they are on a relationship that’s more lame! Douche!

• Don’t let yourself to fall in love with your best friend or friend. If you want to keep the friendship forever, if you want him/her to be in your life forever in all your ups and downs, it’s better to give respect than love to him/her.

Everyone deserves to be happy…so it’s better to end it here than to continue hurting each other…

We are supposedly 2 years and 3 months today. It’s the first thing that came into my mind the moment I woke up this morning. I’m really good with dates, and if that date is very important to me, I’ll never forget it. I began to reminisce our moments together, and what would be our celebration today if we’re still together…good thing my college friends invited me yesterday to watch a funny movie today and it was worth it.

We watched Kimmy Dora (Kambal sa Kiyeme) starring Ms. Eugene Domingo. I thought the movie was corny when I watched the trailer on TV but it’s totally opposite. It’s really funny but with a moral lesson and the cast was star studded. What I just don’t like in the film was the twins’ song number before ending it LOL, well it’s cute though. After the movie we decided to play games at Time Zone. Before when we’re still together we always go to Time Zone and play games; the usual arcade games, racing games…but today I played games I’ve never played before. We tried Percussion freak, Dance Revo, the game with swaying of hands in the red and blue circle (forgot the name sorry) and Percussion Master. What I really liked the most was the Percussion Master, Percussion Freak and the game with the swaying of hands, it’s really fun! Though my arms now are hurting LOL.

I really had fun tonight…it’s like we’re college again. I’m really happy when I’m with my friends…coz they never fail to make me laugh whenever we’re together.

But as I go home alone, I asked myself… am I truly happy? Or I’m just happy because I’m with my friends?

I already got my answer.

I miss him.

Quite busy for a couple of days and haven’t wrote a blog…I’m still struggling to bring my life back the way it was before…It’s hard but I Thank God that he’s still there to guide me in every decisions I make.

This morning, I received a very sad text message from my Dad. He said our church leader, Brother Erano Manalo passed away at 3:53 p.m. of August 31, 2009 ofcardiopulmonary arrest.

I can’t work properly after receiving the news, my day is ruined; I can’t express the sadness I feel right now. I know all brethren around the world is grieving…

Thank you very much sir…May you rest in peace…See you in our promise land when we get there…:’(

Nothing much happened today. Just did my usual work and watched How I met Your Mother series after my work hehe finished till episode 16 of season 1

well, aside from I texted him if I can see him online ( meaning in logged in YM) then he did

we didn’t chatted much, I know he’s busy..but at least I know he’s still there

Ciao!!!